The Fourth Trimester: My Survival Guide
Have you heard of the fourth trimester? It is the name that has been both jokingly and accurately given to the three months following the birth of your baby. You have carried your baby in your womb for 40 weeks, or there about, and the three months that follow are an extension of that time your baby spent growing inside of you. Your baby needs to be transitioned to the outside world, just as you need to transition to having them here. They had their needs constantly met within you; they were never hungry, never had a wet diaper, and never knew what it was to be cold or alone. They always had your warmth, your heartbeat, and your constant swaying motion. And now you want to put them down and expect them to be content with that? Now you want to go to the bathroom by yourself, sleep alone, eat something other than an Uncrustable (Oh yes, I lived on these during 3 a.m. feedings)? Silly momma, that is not how this works! During those first precious days, weeks, and months that your child is earth-side, know that your itty bitty needs you more than ever to adjust to this great big world of ours.
Skin To Skin
In my opinion, this is one of the most important things you can do for your baby in those first moments and months of life. Skin to skin contact with your baby can help regulate their body temperature, relieve stress, calm, sooth, and regulate their breathing and heart rates. Skin to skin contact immediately after birth helps to transition a baby earth-side in a gentler way. I spent two blissful hours with my little lamb nuzzled up to me immediately after her birth, and it was healing for both of us. Dads can get in on the action too. Skin to skin contact is a great way for dads to bond with their baby, especially if they are being exclusively breastfed. So ditch your top and the onesie, and nuzzle up to that soft brand new baby skin as much as you can.
Wear Your Baby
Be it a Moby, K’tan, Ergo, or sling, find a baby wearing apparatus that you are comfortable with and embrace the snuggly feeling of having your newborn close to your heart at all times. Go the extra mile and grab some skin-to-skin time while you are wearing your itty bitty as well. Wearing your baby gives your them a sense of security, while giving you the freedom to make a sandwich with two hands, go to the bathroom with two hands, vacuum with two hands, and do just about anything else you need to do with two hands. Not only is baby wearing extremely beneficial for bonding and increasing babies feeling of security, it also helps you to get back to your day to day routine without compromising your own sanity and quality time with your itty bitty. But do not rush getting back into your routine too quickly. Give yourself time to heal and time to bond with your baby after childbirth.
Nurse On Demand
If you are breastfeeding, nurse your baby on demand, not on any recommended “schedule”. Nursing on demand brings comfort to your baby, helps with your milk supply, and creates an unimaginable bond that will simply leave you breathless. Pay attention to your babies feeding cues, and try to latch them before they start to cry. Trying to get a crying baby to successfully latch onto a breast or bottle adds on to the challenge of learning this brand new skill, so pay attention and do your best to start a feeding before the crying begins. When it comes to feeding your baby, follow your instincts, their cues, and the amount of wet diapers they have in a 24 hour period. Don’t be discouraged by those who will tell you that you should be on a particular schedule during those first few months. When in doubt, contact your physician if you are concerned about your newborns eating habits, and contact a lactation specialist if you are having trouble nursing.
Motion Is Key
Your itty bitty has spent a good portion of a year in constant motion inside your womb. Every stair you climbed, step you took, and movement you made transferred to your baby. Sway, rock, dance, and walk with your baby to sooth and comfort them. Try a vibrating seat (my personal favorite), a swing, or a rock n’ play for when you need to put baby down. Our little lamb loved the feeling of motion while I sat, rocked, swirled, and bounced on our birthing ball at home.
Limit Visitors
Do yourself a favor and be selfish with your new little one during the first few weeks after their birth. A fever in a child under three months will usually land you in the emergency room, so do not feel guilty about limiting the number or the age of people that you welcome into your home during the 4th trimester. We had very few visitors during the first month of our little lambs life, and did not allow young children to visit until she was three months old. Be extra diligent during cold and flu season, and keep a natural hand sanitizer on hand for when people visit. As much as we want to introduce our precious bundles of joy to our friends and family, make sure you are putting your baby’s best interest first, and do what makes you comfortable. Now is the time to be completely selfish with your little one, and to not be concerned about other people’s feelings. You did all the work to bring them into this world, so your child, your rules.
Remember that you and your precious baby are both adjusting to your new life together. The three months after birth are a time of transition where the two of you will teach each other how to exist in this world together as a team. It has taken you decades to figure life out, so do not expect your baby to come by it all naturally. Create a soft environment for them with comforting sounds, smells, and light. Hold your little one as much as you can, regardless of what anyone says. Remember that you cannot spoil a baby with love and affection, but an infant who is neglected can suffer from devastating physical and emotional issues. Be patient, be loving, and help to ease your baby into this great big world of ours.
Love, Laughter, & Light,
