Finding Your Tribe
Whether you are a man or woman, parent or not, animal lover, vegan, Wiccan, Christian, yogi, and so on, you need a tribe. A tribe, according to meriiam-webster.com, is “a group of people that includes many families and relatives who have the same language, customs, and beliefs.” There are still uncontacted tribes that can be found in Brazil, Peru, New Guinea, and Africa that live off the land as a community, solely dependent on each other for companionship and survival, far from our modern world. But for those of us that do live in the modern world, it is still important to find that companionship with people who share similar interests, beliefs, and make you feel like you belong.
I am in search of my tribe. Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing group of friends, many whom I have known for more than two decades, and sit on the phone with for hours talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. But, as I get older I have found the need to meet more people with similar interests. I am a new mom, where most of my friends are now old pros; I am predominantly a stay-at-home-mom, where most of my friends are working moms; I am a vegan, and don’t have any other friends or family who are outside of my husband; I am breastfeeding past a year, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, baby wearing, blogging, home schooling, a Wiccan, getting into herbs and essential oils, and so many other things. I do have some friends and family that have or have had some of these interests as well, but I would love to find more people who share these interests and experiences. People I can learn from, teach, make a connection with, feel supported by, support, and enjoy life with.
But here is the problem: I am an island. I am open and social with people I know, but I am a bit of an introvert when it comes to meeting new people. I will happily chat up anyone, but it is unlikely I will be the one to initiate the conversation. I am an observer by nature, and I miss the boat on making connections with people sometimes because there was not enough time to move from observer to active participant. Lets face it, it is not that easy to make new friends after a certain age, and I have never been one to put myself out there right out of the gate.
This weekend I went to a two-night women’s camping retreat designed to celebrate feminine spirituality and sisterhood. I was really looking forward to meeting new people with similar interests, and enjoying some bonding time with my little lamb. My sister-in-law was also with me, along with her two children. We knew camping for the weekend would be a challenge with three little ones, but we were looking forward to the whole experience. We lasted 25 hours. I met some very nice women there, but I feel like I missed the boat. I could not fully participate in every workshop and ceremony because I have a one year old who has not quite grasped the concept of silent meditation…maybe my little lamb will have the hang of it by the time she is two;-) This definitely limited my interactions with the majority of the women there, and I cannot blame them for not approaching me, not everyone wants to have a conversation while following a curious little one around an open field. So we left early. I did not necessarily find my tribe, but I did meet some wonderful women. I did get to stand under the full moon in an open field with my beautiful baby and enjoy a moment of absolute bliss and love for being her momma. I did get a chance to miss my husband, which I strongly believe strengthens a relationship. I did get a chance to sleep outdoors, which I have not done in about twenty years. I did decide that I am going to pierce my nose at the age of 36. I did learn some interesting things about herbs from a workshop I attended that has inspired me to learn more. I did unplug, and it was a great reminder that I need to do that more often. I may not have felt like I completely belonged at the gathering, but I do know my tribe is out there somewhere. This experience is putting me one step closer to stepping off my island and moving towards becoming a peninsula (baby steps)!
Finding your tribe is important. It provides you with support, companionship, motivation, and gives you a sense of belonging that we need as human beings. Building your tribe can be challenging sometimes, so branch out. Go to festivals, conventions, join a class, join a parenting group, go to the park with your children and strike up a conversation with another parent. Find a place that attracts people with similar interests as your own, and that makes you feel comfortable enough to be an active participant. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t always work out as expected. Your tribe is out there!
Love, Laughter, & Light,
