Will there be something for me to eat? #VeganStruggles

As a vegan, when you get invited to a party, event, or any type of gathering, one of the first things you think of is, “Will there be anything there that I can eat?” When I was a vegetarian, this seldom was a problem. There was always some sort of pasta that usually had cheese, or a salad that had cheese, or at truly desperate times, there were fixings to make a cheese sandwich. Cheese was definitely the main eating option at events, along with the milk and egg laden desserts. Making the choice to adopt a vegan lifestyle brought on more challenges when it comes to attending social events, but it is a challenge we take in stride because we firmly believe a vegan lifestyle is the right choice for our family both ethically and for our health. Close friends and family are usually accommodating when they can be, but I’m definitely not going to ask someone if they would make my family a vegan cake to go along with their child’s birthday cake. So what is a momma to do? In short, be prepared!

I went to a wedding this weekend for my brother from another mother, and in preparation, my pocket book was stocked with granola bars, Luna bars, and an awesome Love Chunk chocolate chip cookie compliments of my cousin (that I immensely enjoyed on my ride home). I knew they had ordered a vegan meal for me for dinner, but I had no idea if there would be other options for me prior to that. As luck would have it, there were many. I had fresh fruit to tie me over before the ceremony, and roasted veggies, hummus, pita, pasta, and more fruit during cocktail hour. The amount of food was incredible, and I was thrilled to not have to break out my granola bar while everyone else was digging in. All was right in my little vegan world until dinner. My brother had just made a joke about how great it is that the vegan option at weddings was no longer just a plate of steamed vegetables and rice when the waitress brought over my meal of, you guessed it, a plate of steamed broccoli over rice loaded down with black pepper.

All I could do was laugh, as did everyone else at the table, due to the sheer irony of the moment. The waitress apologized profusely for the lack luster meal, and told me she had questioned the chef when he handed it to her. She was both empathetic and embarrassed, and even offered to get the manager. I was so grateful for her understanding, and I ended up with a slightly better plate of pasta instead. The moment was dubbed by my brother as #veganstruggles!

The moment was amusing, but the struggle is real. Being a vegan means you struggle with having to ask the question, “Will there be something for me to eat?”, and hoping your options are more than a salad. Or dealing with the comment, “Well, I thought you could just pick around the cheese, pepperoni, chicken, etc…” Or, having to repeatedly ask if the bread, crackers, sauce, dressing, pasta, and so on has any animal products in it before eating anything. I know I am choosing this lifestyle, but I have such a deeper respect for people who deal with food allergies and have to go through the same process on a regular basis. Having to go through these steps just to eat a bite of food can be exhausting and inconvenient for the vegans and the non-vegans. Even going to a carnival, amusement park, hotel, or having dinner with friends at a new restaurant takes research to make sure there will be food options available.

Having to bring your own food every place you go can also be taxing after awhile, but it is the only option sometimes. I always offer to bring certain staples, depending on the event. Hummus and veggies, a fruit tray, butternut squash mac and cheeze, cupcakes, or cookies are my main go-to’s. We are having Thanksgiving at my brothers’ home this year, so we are bringing dessert and corn bread stuffing, along with Earth Balance butter and unsweetened coconut milk for the mashed potatoes if needed. When we go to a wedding or an event with a sit down dinner we request a vegan meal way in advance and hope for the best. We got very lucky at one friends wedding and enjoyed the heck out of a vegan cake.

We never expect to be catered to when we go to a friends or relatives home or event, but it really is nice when there are options beyond a garden salad and fruit tray. Raising vegan children adds another obstacle, because you need to make sure they have something substantial to eat and that they do not feel left out and sad due to the limited options. It can feel very alienating when everyone else is digging into a gorgeous meal, and you are pulling a granola bar from your bag. So vegans, always be prepared when attending social events centered around food: ask what your food options will be regardless of how uncomfortable you feel about having to ask, offer to bring a vegan appetizer and/or dessert; request the vegan meal in advance when attending events or traveling; eat before you go if necessary; and always have an emergency stash of snacks for you and your family in your bag just in case. And for our non-vegan friends and family, know that we truly appreciate any and all efforts you make to provide us with options. That pesto made with vegan cheese, that vegetable tray with hummus, the chocolate chip cookie, fruit tray, pasta salad, and vegan burgers mean more than you could possibly imagine!

Love, Laughter, & Light,