I Wasn’t a Great Mom Today
Some days I feel like I am super mom, able to balance family, home, and work effortlessly, while other days I feel like an epic failure. My little lamb had a rough week of not napping, waking up before the sun, and needing to be connected to momma in epic proportions every second of the day. The laundry kept on piling up, the vacuum started collecting dust, and my dining room table started turning into a dumping ground. At the same time, I was trying to pay bills, send out holiday cards, answer work emails, prepare promo videos for my first vegan children’s book coming out in 2017, and grading and editing papers for my grad students. Without our usual naptime, this meant a lot of late nights trying to get all of this work done after my little lamb went to bed. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and not at my best toward the end of the week. My patience level was at an all time low, my temper was quick, and quite frankly, I was not a lot of fun to be around.
But little ones don’t understand that momma is tired and cranky too, they just feel the stress and frustration that is emanating off of you. Instead of giving the extra cuddles and patience my little lamb needed, I kept thinking of all the things that needed to be done for work and around the house. Because of this, I lost sight of what was really important, my time with my daughter. So, I wasn’t a great mom this week, and I’m sure there will be plenty more days in the months and years ahead where I forget to put on my super mom cape, and end up feeling more like the villain. But instead of berating myself about it and carrying the guilt of a bad day that hasn’t effected the fact that my little lamb wants nothing more than to spend every waking moment with me, I am choosing to learn from it, reprioritize, and take a deep breath. Today is a new day to remember how much I love being a momma, no matter how exhausted I am or how much junk mail and laundry is piled up on my dining room table. I haven’t written a poem in ages, but it ended up being the best way for me to express how I felt this week. Enjoy, and remember to take a deep breath and know that you are doing a great job!
I Wasn’t a Great Mom Today
You woke up way before the sun rose in the sky
And didn’t nap a wink
My nerves were shot, my patience thin
I was so incredibly tired that I could barely think
I wasn’t a great mom today
I raised my voice and lost my cool
I grabbed your arm harder than I should
I didn’t feel like playing games
Or singing like I normally would
You wouldn’t go down for your nap today
And I wasn’t able to sooth you
Instead I got frustrated and upset
Which made you unhappy too
I wasn’t a great mom today
All I could think about was the laundry
And how piled up it had become
All I could think about were the dishes
And all the housework that needed to be done
All you needed was cuddling
And a little extra love
All I could do was bite back the tears
Because I knew I was failing today as your mom
I wasn’t a great mom today
At night I rocked you and soothed you to sleep
Like I should have done earlier today
The dishes got done, dinner got cooked
And the laundry can wait till another day
Tomorrow I promise we will play outside
No matter how early you wake
I’ll sing and cuddle, I’ll sooth and be patient
Because the house work and vacuuming can wait
Today I forgot to put us first
I got caught up in all my to-dos
I was tired, worn out, and not feeling my best
But I forgot that so were you
I wasn’t a great mom today
So good night my little darling
You are my love, laughter, and heart
Tomorrow you will get the best of me
And we’ll have a better start
I wasn’t a great mom today
And there will be other days like this
But know that I love you with all my heart
And that mommy is doing her best.
~Julia Barcalow, Ed.D
Today is a new day!
Love, Laughter, & Light,
