Postpartum Care: Lying In
Thanks to Alicia Silverstone’s book, The Kind Mama, I discovered the lost art of lying in. Lying in is an older tradition that has unfortunately become uncommon in our fast paced society. What you do is simple, you stay in bed and bond with your baby anywhere from one week to one month. No grocery shopping, no house cleaning, no visiting friends and relatives. All you do is care for yourself and your itty bitty by nursing, sleeping, snuggling, and nourishing your body with healthy food. It gives you both a chance to strengthen your bond and become familiar with each other in a whole new way. A whole month of lying in may not be practical unless you are fortunate enough to have the means and/or resources, but give yourself the week if you can. You both need to physically recover from labor and delivery, and you deserve the chance to bond without distraction.
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For the momma, it gives your body a chance to heal properly. For 40 weeks your body has readjusted itself by moving organs, separating your core, and increasing your blood supply to accommodate the growing life inside of you. Now it needs time to heal, transition, and get your uterus back down to its normal size. Pushing yourself to hard during those first few days and weeks can cause excess bleeding and other health issues. Slow down, delegate responsibilities, and remember that it is just as important to take care of yourself as it is to take care of the new little life you created.
My lying in period was spent between lying in bed and lying on the couch with my feet up and my little lamb attached to me the majority of the time. We nursed on demand, I got to know signs of hunger and discomfort by watching all the little cues my little lamb was giving, and my husband took over the house for that week completely. I spent the month before my due date preparing freezer friendly meals and snacks that could easily be made during the first month postpartum. I made smoothie bags filled with fruit and veggies that my husband or I could just put in the blender and add coconut milk to for a quick meal/snack. I had high fiber muffins frozen in individual sandwich bags for a quick and easy breakfast, and I will admit, I became both addicted and dependent on Uncrustables. I stocked our kitchen with quick, easy, and nutritious options, and bulk purchased things like toilet paper and cat food. And when all else failed, we ordered out. We spent the first week just enjoying our new role as parents. We did not have visitors, we limited distractions around our house with the television and cell phones, and we selfishly and unapologetically kept our little lamb to ourselves.
When my husband went back to work during our second week as new parents, I embraced a less than spotless house, I ate simple meals, and I was okay with staying in my pajamas all day with my hair unwashed. I still spent most of my day between the bed and the couch, and we kept visitors to a minimum of grandparents only. By the third week, I started getting back into my normal routine of doing more around the house and letting the outside world creep slowly in to the beautiful baby cocoon we had created for ourselves. We had visitors (adults only) come for short periods and in very small groups, I began showering on the regular again once I accepted I could put my little lamb down and the world would not end, and I embraced baby wearing as if my life depended on it.
I don’t know what lying in will look like when we decide to have our next child. Juggling a toddler and a newborn will definitely bring a new challenge to the table, but we will find a way to make it work, especially during that first critical week. Knowing what I know now, I plan on staying in bed a great deal more, because I was just more comfortable there. If that means hauling in the vast majority of my little lambs toys to our bedroom, so be it. I plan on unplugging (almost) completely. We very rarely watch TV in our home as it is, so that will not be a problem, but I would like to unplug from technology as much as possible, if not completely, during that first week. My realistic goal is to limit cell phone use to text messaging, and to ditch the World Wide Web completely. I plan on stocking the kitchen again and making freezer friendly meals, including homemade Uncrustables this time around. I plan on being selfish and not having visitors for that first precious week (or more). But most of all, I plan on enjoying every second of my time spent with the new little life we will bring into this world, because you will never get that time back.
So mommas, embrace lying in. Slow down, savor every precious moment, be selfish with your new family, ignore the pile of laundry, ask for help, accept help, and take care of yourself and the new life you brought into this world. You have worked hard to bring this baby earth-side, and now it is time for both of you to rest, relax, and just fall madly in love with each other over and over again.
